Expectations vs. Hopes

I'm a planner, if you've ever met me, this is quickly apparent. If you haven't met me--trust me, I'm the planner. I love hosting a good theme party or dinner. Friendsgiving? Check. Royal Wedding? I've got your tea sandwiches and bunting right here. Valentine's Day? Okay I might one day invest in a black heart pinata and baseball bat but for now settle for a solid girls' night dinner. Mind you, most of this never made it on the blog, oops! But I've roasted a turkey and made wedding cupcakes with Harry & Meghan's faces on them like the best of 'em.

Recently I had a couple people comment that I shouldn't set my expectations too high for these parties/plans so I'm not disappointed if they don't turn out the way I envisioned. Valid. But it got me thinking about the difference between expectations and hope. I posed this to my sister who unfortunately misinterpreted the question, sent via text, to be a frustrated rant/cry for help (which to be fair, is usually what I'm doing). But she wrote this post quickly to answer my question and then I clarified that it was really a musing about how we are encouraged to hope and dream while simultaneously told not to set expectations.

So how do you have hope and dream for something without setting expectations? Isn't a dream an expectation? No no, a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep, duh! Couldn't resist a Disney plug. But seriously, we don't say "don't dream" or "don't hope" but we do say "be mindful of your expectations" and my personal favorite as a singleton getting unsolicited advice from people in long term relationships that suddenly makes them experts on dating: "maybe your expectations are too high".

(or Philosopher's Stone for the Brits)

Are my dreams too high?? Is there too much hope in the world?? Doubtful. If anything, I don't like to hope for things because that leads to disappointment (did I just answer my own question?). Expectations feel more concrete, black and white achievements. They are met or they aren't. But hopes and dreams have a spectrum, it's more emotional to me. Your expectations could be a 10 and you hit an 8, that's not failure. That's an 8/10! That's above average! So double rainbows didn't spontaneously shine down on you (that would be an 11) and Bradley Cooper didn't buy you coffee (dreamzzz--but that would be like a 25) but things were still great!

So from one hopeful dreamer masquerading as a black-hearted pessimist, have hope and courage to dream. Just don't expect them to come true (kiddinggggg...sort of...).